Shame is the Shawl of Pink
In which we wrap the Soul
To keep it from infesting Eyes
-Emily Dickinson
Shame is what I feel. The bitter shame of Neglect.
Oh How I have neglected you dear blog.
My anonymous outlet of sorrow and strength.
My one true electronic legacy.
So, yeah, I haven't posted in a while. Almost a year to be a bit more accurate.
I am afraid that I will have to rebuild what little readership may have existed.
The reason for my absence?...... Shame.
The reason for my shame?......Nothing!
Vanilla and I have moved to a new, and for once, exciting place and what have we done... Alas, nothing.
We have not found our dream jobs, we have not explored all the magic that this wonderful city has to offer, we haven't done anything. We barely leave the house.
I blame DVR.
Yes, DVR. The ability to record and watch any show, any movie, any documentary, any baseball game and watch at will is truly debilitating!!!
I humbly apologize and beg your forgiveness.
So, a little ketchup to go with the humble pie???? If you are interested??
Hmm, where to start....
Last December we were blessed with a new niece.. She is PW's little sister and we haven't had the opportunity to meet her yet, but are looking forward to it.
In January, we lost Sweet William. He and Dot married in their 80th years and had 14 wonderful years of marriage. In August, we lost Dot as well. She fought long and hard, but couldn't be without her sweetie pie.
Vanilla has enjoyed being so close to his beloved baseball team and we have made several trips up to the Ballpark in Arlington.
I signed up for a seasonal job at the most wonderful store in the world, Target last Christmas (you know, while I looked for a real job) and I am still there. Red, not really my color.
Yesterday I felt guilty for skipping the Old Pecan Street Festival, but felt much more productive by doing four loads of laundry.
We are still young'un-less. We have had no "signs" one way or the other, but are beginning to realize that it will probably stay this way. My personal goal is to have a house. Not to raise kids in, but I really just want the backyard so I can adopt every small dog that needs a home.
We bought a dining room table, we don't really have a dining room, but finally a table!!!
Well, I must be doing this right, because I already feel as if I am boring you. You one lonely, probably non-existent reader.
So, I will stop for now..... and hope for the strength to return shortly.
Flip Flop
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Oh Pioneers
Ha Ha.. fooled you guys.. I waited only minutes to post again, instead of the usual weeks.. Clever, eh?
So, I thought I would fill everyone in on our adventure driving out west.
Well, Packing didn't go exactly as planned as I got a nasty bought of the stomach flu on day one of packing. I was down for the count. 33 hours in bed to be exact.
We eventually got everything into a box (or at least into a trash bag) and onto a 16' truck. The truck doors were locked down around 10pm EST on Wednesday night. About 10:15 we decided that sleeping on the floor would not be fun and to just see how far we could get.
Vanilla decided that he would start the drive. 15 minutes later, having survived the adventure, I forced Vanilla to pull over, before he turned over.. I should mention that his car was being towed behind the truck.
I took over the driving at that point. It was a bit difficult to handle. I was surprised because I had driven much bigger vehicles while towing other vehicles and had never had so much trouble.
I dreaded the morning when I knew I would have to call the rental company and our only option would be to switch trucks.. from the truck we just spent two days meticulously loading..
A bit later, I remembered seeing a button on the dash with a picture of a vehicle being towed.
I dared to take one hand off the wheel to search for this button and when I finally found it I pressed the button with only hope in my heart..
It took a minute but seemed to better the driving experience. Still had to take it pretty slow and removing a hand from the wheel was a bit of a chance, but suddenly, we were drivable.
The first night was four hours of driving and we only made it just north of Tampa. Normally this would have been a two hour drive.. We were in for a long haul and it looked like I would be the one hauling while Vanilla listed to my ipod in my car. I didn't even have so much as a tape player.
We got some sleep and in the morning, Vanilla kept his promise of letting me dine at the Cracker Barrel..... Didn't let me shop though.. hmph...
Well, it was time to get back on the road and we weren't looking forward to it..
We were up and running and I was starting to feel comfortable on the road when Vanilla called and said that his biscuits and bacon were putting him into a food coma and that we needed to pull over.
So we did.. I followed Vanilla and he led me into a tight parking area with no exits. I guess my shouting woke him up enough and we got on the road again.
We managed on surprisingly were able to get the truck up to the speed limit with the all powerful button.
We passed the exit for my hometown zip code, but knew that we wouldn't be able to stop. Our time was becoming more and more limited.
We eventually made it to the state line, and I won't lie.. There was a little tear shed in memory of my beloved state.
It was getting dark, but we kept pushing on and made it through another state..
Unannounced to me, Vanilla was cooking up a surprise for me.. He was making calls and booked a room at a hotel in state number 3. It was a wonderful room in a hotel I have wanted to stay in for years. Not necessarily in state number 3, but in other areas of the country.
It was a very good deal and sure beat the highway hostels that were dotting the side of the road.
There was one flaw in the plan. The lobby of this fine establishment consisted of a casino. Hmmm.. Vanilla and I, uh.. we like to play the odds.
After all was said and done.. it wasn't a very good deal after all, but I enjoyed it all the same.
We slept in a bit that morning and enjoyed the buffet for brunch as a reward for making such good progress the day before.
It was time to move on to state number 4. The rest of the day will be a memory that I plan on repressing.
THE STATE OF LOUISIANA AND THE BRIDGES OF TERROR
No folks, not a fictional novel.. real life and real fear.
I don't have a huge fear of bridges, but I do have a fear of huge bridges. And the state of Louisiana is nothing but one huge bridge after another!!!!!
There was one in particular that I could actually hear the "tic,tic,tic,tic" as we drove upward. I could only imagine going off the side of the bridge to be forever entombed in my Budget rental truck in the bottom of a dirty river.
My only hope was that the roller coaster engineer that designed this stupid thing was in the car next to me and would go over with me.
Finally the bridges ended and we found ourselves welcomed into The Great State of Texas!
We drove a bit and decided to stop for the night. We ate some TexMex and settled in.
We woke to find ourselves just outside of Houston and I found myself not impressed.... I thought.. "uh, oh"
We "trucked on" and stopped for TX bar b que for lunch.. and I will admit.. the best turkey I have ever had in my entire life.
After lunch, we were back on the road and headed towards the capitol of this very large area. We made it into town about 3 in the afternoon and realized we had no where to go. We found a motel and hunkered down.
On that first day, we caught up with old friends and witnessed one of the most amazing Halloween celebrations ever.
The next day we did find a place to live, but they don't just let you walk in and move in so we paid for another night in a hotel and another day for the truck rental.. yay!
We got moved in ... and that's another story.. and now we are here.
So far.. I like it..
I have never moved anywhere that I immediately liked.. .Well.. except for Gatorville.. So we are hopeful that we will be here for a while and that we will be able to call it home.
Need to buy some shoes with toes..
Flip Flop
So, I thought I would fill everyone in on our adventure driving out west.
Well, Packing didn't go exactly as planned as I got a nasty bought of the stomach flu on day one of packing. I was down for the count. 33 hours in bed to be exact.
We eventually got everything into a box (or at least into a trash bag) and onto a 16' truck. The truck doors were locked down around 10pm EST on Wednesday night. About 10:15 we decided that sleeping on the floor would not be fun and to just see how far we could get.
Vanilla decided that he would start the drive. 15 minutes later, having survived the adventure, I forced Vanilla to pull over, before he turned over.. I should mention that his car was being towed behind the truck.
I took over the driving at that point. It was a bit difficult to handle. I was surprised because I had driven much bigger vehicles while towing other vehicles and had never had so much trouble.
I dreaded the morning when I knew I would have to call the rental company and our only option would be to switch trucks.. from the truck we just spent two days meticulously loading..
A bit later, I remembered seeing a button on the dash with a picture of a vehicle being towed.
I dared to take one hand off the wheel to search for this button and when I finally found it I pressed the button with only hope in my heart..
It took a minute but seemed to better the driving experience. Still had to take it pretty slow and removing a hand from the wheel was a bit of a chance, but suddenly, we were drivable.
The first night was four hours of driving and we only made it just north of Tampa. Normally this would have been a two hour drive.. We were in for a long haul and it looked like I would be the one hauling while Vanilla listed to my ipod in my car. I didn't even have so much as a tape player.
We got some sleep and in the morning, Vanilla kept his promise of letting me dine at the Cracker Barrel..... Didn't let me shop though.. hmph...
Well, it was time to get back on the road and we weren't looking forward to it..
We were up and running and I was starting to feel comfortable on the road when Vanilla called and said that his biscuits and bacon were putting him into a food coma and that we needed to pull over.
So we did.. I followed Vanilla and he led me into a tight parking area with no exits. I guess my shouting woke him up enough and we got on the road again.
We managed on surprisingly were able to get the truck up to the speed limit with the all powerful button.
We passed the exit for my hometown zip code, but knew that we wouldn't be able to stop. Our time was becoming more and more limited.
We eventually made it to the state line, and I won't lie.. There was a little tear shed in memory of my beloved state.
It was getting dark, but we kept pushing on and made it through another state..
Unannounced to me, Vanilla was cooking up a surprise for me.. He was making calls and booked a room at a hotel in state number 3. It was a wonderful room in a hotel I have wanted to stay in for years. Not necessarily in state number 3, but in other areas of the country.
It was a very good deal and sure beat the highway hostels that were dotting the side of the road.
There was one flaw in the plan. The lobby of this fine establishment consisted of a casino. Hmmm.. Vanilla and I, uh.. we like to play the odds.
After all was said and done.. it wasn't a very good deal after all, but I enjoyed it all the same.
We slept in a bit that morning and enjoyed the buffet for brunch as a reward for making such good progress the day before.
It was time to move on to state number 4. The rest of the day will be a memory that I plan on repressing.
THE STATE OF LOUISIANA AND THE BRIDGES OF TERROR
No folks, not a fictional novel.. real life and real fear.
I don't have a huge fear of bridges, but I do have a fear of huge bridges. And the state of Louisiana is nothing but one huge bridge after another!!!!!
There was one in particular that I could actually hear the "tic,tic,tic,tic" as we drove upward. I could only imagine going off the side of the bridge to be forever entombed in my Budget rental truck in the bottom of a dirty river.
My only hope was that the roller coaster engineer that designed this stupid thing was in the car next to me and would go over with me.
Finally the bridges ended and we found ourselves welcomed into The Great State of Texas!
We drove a bit and decided to stop for the night. We ate some TexMex and settled in.
We woke to find ourselves just outside of Houston and I found myself not impressed.... I thought.. "uh, oh"
We "trucked on" and stopped for TX bar b que for lunch.. and I will admit.. the best turkey I have ever had in my entire life.
After lunch, we were back on the road and headed towards the capitol of this very large area. We made it into town about 3 in the afternoon and realized we had no where to go. We found a motel and hunkered down.
On that first day, we caught up with old friends and witnessed one of the most amazing Halloween celebrations ever.
The next day we did find a place to live, but they don't just let you walk in and move in so we paid for another night in a hotel and another day for the truck rental.. yay!
We got moved in ... and that's another story.. and now we are here.
So far.. I like it..
I have never moved anywhere that I immediately liked.. .Well.. except for Gatorville.. So we are hopeful that we will be here for a while and that we will be able to call it home.
Need to buy some shoes with toes..
Flip Flop
Bad Flip Flop, Bad... Tut, tut..
Okay, okay, okay....
I know, it's been a while and I have definately left some unanswered questions out there...
Let's just go basic for a while.
I left a big announcement out there dangling. The reason for all the mystery was that it was still sort of hush, hush at the time, and things tend to get around on the internet.. Big surprise..
And then it wasn't hushy, hush, but more towards confusing. I was confused enough without getting everyone else all swirly.
So... Drumroll.....
We moved to the Lone Star State.
Things weren't going as planned in the "Land of the Bored" and our lease was up.... so, what better thing to do than drop everything and move half way across the country!!!
We decided that our toes would take us further out West, so we wiped off the sand and took off.
I am still looking for a job I am passionate about.. ha
but Vanilla is working while I explore this new land..
As guilty as it might make me feel, I may have a little time during my job search to keep ya'll up to date.. I'll try at least..
Do they sell Flip Flops with Spurs?
I know, it's been a while and I have definately left some unanswered questions out there...
Let's just go basic for a while.
I left a big announcement out there dangling. The reason for all the mystery was that it was still sort of hush, hush at the time, and things tend to get around on the internet.. Big surprise..
And then it wasn't hushy, hush, but more towards confusing. I was confused enough without getting everyone else all swirly.
So... Drumroll.....
We moved to the Lone Star State.
Things weren't going as planned in the "Land of the Bored" and our lease was up.... so, what better thing to do than drop everything and move half way across the country!!!
We decided that our toes would take us further out West, so we wiped off the sand and took off.
I am still looking for a job I am passionate about.. ha
but Vanilla is working while I explore this new land..
As guilty as it might make me feel, I may have a little time during my job search to keep ya'll up to date.. I'll try at least..
Do they sell Flip Flops with Spurs?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Uncomfortably Numb
This earth is too small for all the souls that we love. There is much more room in Heaven. In order to introduce a new soul for us to love, we sometimes have to say goodbye to someone we already love.
I said goodbye to my namesake when I was five. In a scary and dysfunctional living environment you were my escape. I love you Linnie.
I said goodbye to my best friend when I was fifteen. In a lonely school environment, you were there to always be honest. I love you Seasons.
I said goodbye to my grandfather when I was seventeen. In a difficult relationship you gave me knowledge. I love you Hall.
I said goodbye to my cousin when I was nineteen. In a family full of cousins much older than me, our similar age connected us and a friendship grew. I love you Forever Young.
I said goodbye to my Granny on the last day of my 21st year. In this wild, crazy, scary world, you were my rock. I love you Grower of Violets.
I said goodbye to my brother when I was thirty two. In a world with few very close friends, you were my closest friend. I love you Drummerman.
I said goodbye to someone I never met last Christmas. I only knew you existed for what seemed like hours and you were gone. I loved you no less for never having seen you. I love you Raspberry.
I said goodbye to my father just a few days ago. I had lived for almost two decades before I ever sought comfort in your arms, but when I did, they were open and waiting for me. I love you Junior.
Although I miss all of these souls terribly and the love I had for them can never be replaced, I must remember that God has given me so many wonderful individuals in my life that I love and that love me. Though our time was short, I have been blessed to be a part of these people's lives.
Less than flippy,
Flop
I said goodbye to my namesake when I was five. In a scary and dysfunctional living environment you were my escape. I love you Linnie.
I said goodbye to my best friend when I was fifteen. In a lonely school environment, you were there to always be honest. I love you Seasons.
I said goodbye to my grandfather when I was seventeen. In a difficult relationship you gave me knowledge. I love you Hall.
I said goodbye to my cousin when I was nineteen. In a family full of cousins much older than me, our similar age connected us and a friendship grew. I love you Forever Young.
I said goodbye to my Granny on the last day of my 21st year. In this wild, crazy, scary world, you were my rock. I love you Grower of Violets.
I said goodbye to my brother when I was thirty two. In a world with few very close friends, you were my closest friend. I love you Drummerman.
I said goodbye to someone I never met last Christmas. I only knew you existed for what seemed like hours and you were gone. I loved you no less for never having seen you. I love you Raspberry.
I said goodbye to my father just a few days ago. I had lived for almost two decades before I ever sought comfort in your arms, but when I did, they were open and waiting for me. I love you Junior.
Although I miss all of these souls terribly and the love I had for them can never be replaced, I must remember that God has given me so many wonderful individuals in my life that I love and that love me. Though our time was short, I have been blessed to be a part of these people's lives.
Less than flippy,
Flop
Thursday, September 3, 2009
To Everything there is a season
Well, I do not have much information to offer in this post except that Flip & Scoop are headed for a big change.
Vanilla is ready for a change in career environment and it comes at a time when we are not bound by contractual agreement to stay in our current abode.
In the past, when it has been time for a change we have been "stuck" where we were.
Now, we have a great opportunity and are able to do whatever we want with it!
No decisions have been made at this time, but we'll keep you posted!!!!!
Excited and scared,
Flip
Vanilla is ready for a change in career environment and it comes at a time when we are not bound by contractual agreement to stay in our current abode.
In the past, when it has been time for a change we have been "stuck" where we were.
Now, we have a great opportunity and are able to do whatever we want with it!
No decisions have been made at this time, but we'll keep you posted!!!!!
Excited and scared,
Flip
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
FellyTones
When I was young, if I wanted to tell a friend something, I stood up, walked out the front door, walked in the direction of the house where that friend lived, strolled up the driveway and knocked on the door.
Those who were not within walking distance received letters sharing whatever mundane news I felt the need to disclose.
While others in my classes received notes home discussing little Johnny or Sally's disruptive behavior, I had to deliver to my parents notes stating how I didn't talk enough.
I can remember going to lunch with several co-workers one day and in the middle of the meal, one of them leaned across the table, looked at me and yelled "Talk!"
While this behavior in my youth exhibited just how shy I was, in my adulthood it is just the way I am.
I have always been very good at reading people and I believe it is because I am so much more content with listening to others speak and tell stories. In thirty minutes of permissioned eavesdropping I can tell someone's likes, dislikes, what they think is funny and gross and their overall attitude towards mankind.
Now, if after my "silent interview" is over and someone makes the cut, they often find themselves amazed by how entertaining I can be.
I don't usually let most in on this little secret, but I am really not that entertaining but two things have occurred here.
One, I have already figured them out, I know what will entertain them.
And two, my slightly entertaining self is such a dramatic shift from the person who originally just sat there and watched them talk that these people feel that they have been the one's to awaken this sleeping phenomenon.
What do I have to say to this?
Eh, whatever.
Now, to where this all began.......
I absolutely, without a doubt do not like talking on the telephone!
It seems no matter what, there is always one friend who insists on calling three times a day to tell me... nothing..
Caller: " Hey, what are you doing?"
Me: " Nothing, what's up?" ( I should put that a "what's up" means "what do you want?")
Caller: "Nothing, I was just calling to see what you are up to."
Me: "Nothing"
Caller: "What did you do today?"
Me: "Nothing"
Caller: "What are you doing right now?"
Me: "Nothing" (Here I should interject this: I might actually be doing something, but I don't really want to engage the person in conversation further)
Caller: "Well, I went to the grocery store today and the cart was dirty and beets were on sale and a kid was crying, my coupon wouldn't scan, ...........
and on and on and on and on. .
Or, or, or...
Sometimes the caller insists on rehashing the same conversation that occurred 3 hours and 10 hours and 18 hours before.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I love hanging out with my friends and talking to them.
And those friends that I never get to see and rarely get to speak to I love to talk to.
And maybe I love to talk to them, because I don't talk to them every four hours or so.
Later,
Flip Flop, not Flip Phone
Those who were not within walking distance received letters sharing whatever mundane news I felt the need to disclose.
While others in my classes received notes home discussing little Johnny or Sally's disruptive behavior, I had to deliver to my parents notes stating how I didn't talk enough.
I can remember going to lunch with several co-workers one day and in the middle of the meal, one of them leaned across the table, looked at me and yelled "Talk!"
While this behavior in my youth exhibited just how shy I was, in my adulthood it is just the way I am.
I have always been very good at reading people and I believe it is because I am so much more content with listening to others speak and tell stories. In thirty minutes of permissioned eavesdropping I can tell someone's likes, dislikes, what they think is funny and gross and their overall attitude towards mankind.
Now, if after my "silent interview" is over and someone makes the cut, they often find themselves amazed by how entertaining I can be.
I don't usually let most in on this little secret, but I am really not that entertaining but two things have occurred here.
One, I have already figured them out, I know what will entertain them.
And two, my slightly entertaining self is such a dramatic shift from the person who originally just sat there and watched them talk that these people feel that they have been the one's to awaken this sleeping phenomenon.
What do I have to say to this?
Eh, whatever.
Now, to where this all began.......
I absolutely, without a doubt do not like talking on the telephone!
It seems no matter what, there is always one friend who insists on calling three times a day to tell me... nothing..
Caller: " Hey, what are you doing?"
Me: " Nothing, what's up?" ( I should put that a "what's up" means "what do you want?")
Caller: "Nothing, I was just calling to see what you are up to."
Me: "Nothing"
Caller: "What did you do today?"
Me: "Nothing"
Caller: "What are you doing right now?"
Me: "Nothing" (Here I should interject this: I might actually be doing something, but I don't really want to engage the person in conversation further)
Caller: "Well, I went to the grocery store today and the cart was dirty and beets were on sale and a kid was crying, my coupon wouldn't scan, ...........
and on and on and on and on. .
Or, or, or...
Sometimes the caller insists on rehashing the same conversation that occurred 3 hours and 10 hours and 18 hours before.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I love hanging out with my friends and talking to them.
And those friends that I never get to see and rarely get to speak to I love to talk to.
And maybe I love to talk to them, because I don't talk to them every four hours or so.
Later,
Flip Flop, not Flip Phone
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Fried Green Ta-maters
This morning Vanilla and I had a the best breakfast... ok.. well, lunch actually. After a very long time, Vanilla was able to make it to one of my family reunions.
It has previously been referred to as the Spring Break Capitol of the World, but home is also the land of a cool breeze, tall pine trees, a beautiful sunset and best of all, family.
This morning, we met up with many of the members of my very large family at a good ol' southern restaurant (also the scene of the horrible disaster also known as my first job).
Going home is something I always look forward to, but is also very stressful.
Having so many people that I enjoy seeing and being around makes getting to everyone as well as having any alone time (which is a precious gem in my book) very difficult in this neck of the woods.
One day, and I say that with very little hope, one day Vanilla may think of planting roots in this special place. Unfortunately, all the running around and demands of seeing everyone in such a short period of time, doesn't leave a fantastic impression.
Vanilla is very patient and is very willing to be a part of all the chaos, but I am not sure if he realizes just how loved he is in these parts.
I have often told Vanilla all the details of my dream home. I have even pointed it out on previous visits. But I think that I have realized that it's not just the house, not even the street (although, it's a nice street), but maybe the dream actually extends to the zip code itself.
Nostalgic as always,
Flippy
It has previously been referred to as the Spring Break Capitol of the World, but home is also the land of a cool breeze, tall pine trees, a beautiful sunset and best of all, family.
This morning, we met up with many of the members of my very large family at a good ol' southern restaurant (also the scene of the horrible disaster also known as my first job).
Going home is something I always look forward to, but is also very stressful.
Having so many people that I enjoy seeing and being around makes getting to everyone as well as having any alone time (which is a precious gem in my book) very difficult in this neck of the woods.
One day, and I say that with very little hope, one day Vanilla may think of planting roots in this special place. Unfortunately, all the running around and demands of seeing everyone in such a short period of time, doesn't leave a fantastic impression.
Vanilla is very patient and is very willing to be a part of all the chaos, but I am not sure if he realizes just how loved he is in these parts.
I have often told Vanilla all the details of my dream home. I have even pointed it out on previous visits. But I think that I have realized that it's not just the house, not even the street (although, it's a nice street), but maybe the dream actually extends to the zip code itself.
Nostalgic as always,
Flippy
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